Which one do you think is more important to make other people remember you? Well, to be quite honest, the difference is as good as why people remember some people as attention seekers and others as having left you impressed.
When we asked people about who comes to mind when we say attention seeker, quite a few said Kim Kardashian. And when we asked the same about a lasting impression, a lot said Stephen Hawking because he adds so much value. Well, some perspectives there.
Don’t get sad. There is nothing wrong with wanting the short fame. A secret? We all wanted it at some point of our lives and perhaps continue to do so!
That’s right. We all did, and we all want it for those short fames (happy sigh). But we are here to help when you need more than that.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken – Oscar Wilde
Did you ever do something you did not have your heart in, but you still did it anyways because others expected you to do it? If the answer is yes, then you need to cut yourself some slack.
When we meet new people, we often get so caught up in trying to impress other people that we forget if we are being true to ourselves. And it is not just about having those extra shots even though you had office the next morning and you knew you would wake up with a hangover.
Or when you kept giving side glances to that girl in the pub because you figured your appearance would put her off and someone who looks so put together would never talk to a mess like you. Sadly all of us have been there.
But in the end what matters is what is inside. Did you really like all your go-to-buddies when you first met them? Yet they are the ones who hold your hair up when your head’s down the toilet and you are cursing yourself for drinking this much again.
People might judge you a bit if they are meeting you for the first time and you try to impress them with the magic you learned from your first grader cousin. But the point is, the people you are meant to unstranger with and have something more, would eventually see you for who you are, and your Bob Marley inspired t-shirt or your Armani suit would not change it. First impression matters. True. But is it everything? NO.
Short and Simple
We all had those professors. The one that would take a few classes to make the class understand one theorem and there are the ones who explained it so well in such few words that you will probably never forget it (or at least till you pass the course).
Your conversation with the other person is like those dreadful classrooms too. You cannot expect the other person to pay attention and remember all the details of your life’s Mahabharat. In reality, no one can.
So do not bombard the other person with so much information that all they remember about you is that your life is an ugly mess. (Yes, we know your life is an ugly mess. Like duh! But lure them in till it’s too late to back out).
Mirror Mirror on the wall..
You know how the saying goes. A conversation with the other person is pretty much the same thing. When you laugh, the reflection on the mirror laughs as well. Likewise, pay close attention to the clues the other person is giving off through their body language.
Are they making contact with your eyes when you are talking? And are they responding on an equal level? Are they laughing to your joke through their eyes as well, or was it the smile your friend gave when you cooked for the first time? (You know what I’m talking about).
If the responses are not going the way you expected them to, then maybe you are at fault too and the other person is solely not responsible. Are you giving them an equal opportunity to talk about themselves? Are you showing equal interest to what they are saying? Focus on those subtle hints to decide if the conversation is worth dragging or just put an end to it and save the miserable souls.
Leave the world a better place than you found it – Robert Baden Powell
We know you cannot be Batman. None of us can. But we can do insignificant things, that may change a person’s view of the world. It is not just about the cute girl you met at the event but how you make a difference in the lives of everyone you come across.
Smile. A warm smile, even to a stranger can light up their faces as well wondering why you smiled. Small warning: it’s contagious! An inviting face is more likely to make others feel at ease.
If an impression leads to a conversation, truly listen. It is not just about what the body language is giving off. Actually look at that person. The eyes often give off what we mean to hide the most. Just listen to the other person rant. Whether it is about something very personal or a silly complaint about the maid not doing the laundry properly.
At the end of the day, we just need someone to lend us a friendly ear and get the frustration off of our chest. Do not bother about the outcome. So be it the milkman you meet first thing in the morning or the person you wish good night to before bed, be the person everyone wants to be unstrangered with.